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We have visited ‘I’m Not Enough’, ‘I’ve Had Enough’ and now I want to lead you on to ‘I am Enough, Just The Way I Am’.

It’s quite tough to get women to think that they are good enough just the way they are, without any judgement, criticism and I find that so many ladies resist this.  They resist because they don’t want to believe that they are enough; they have this belief that’s been in embedded in them for so long, it could be from a parent, it could be from an abusive relationship or it could be that they have low self-esteem (and there are many reasons why people have low self-esteem, many, many reasons). 

At the beginning of the journey, we have to learn to nurture ourselves because for so long we haven’t, we’ve put everybody else first and that might be something that we were taught as children, especially women, who were taught to let the man have everything first, do everything the man needs more than what the women needs.  These are things we have learnt, not so much this day and age, but in the past, I would say that was one of the issues.  So I encourage my ladies to go and start nurturing themselves and that could be as simple as going out and having a coffee.  Ideally, I’d like them to meet a friend and have a coffee.  Also I encourage ladies to go and get pampered, it could their hair, their nails, a beauty regime, all sorts of things.  We can nurture ourselves by dressing as nicely as we can, putting makeup on, taking care with our diet, so we are look nice for ourselves and not anybody else; maybe in the past we haven’t felt that we’re good enough to make that effort.  There’s so many ways of nurturing ourselves to get to I am Enough Just The Way I Am.  

So I would start off working on self-esteem; I would start reminding them of times then they felt really strong, powerful and in control of their lives.   I would ask them to look at what they’ve achieved so far, how far they’ve come along this road in the past; I would maybe put them in to some sort of trance state, I would ask them to keep a journal about their feelings, about their day.  One of the most sensitive techniques I would use, and this is where I get the biggest resistance from my clients, is mirror work.  You look in the mirror and you look at yourself, you don’t look at the wrinkles, you don’t look at bags under your eyes, but you look in to your eyes and you look in to that person who’s looking back at you and you say ‘Do you know what, I Am Enough, I Am Good Enough’.  So many of my ladies have thrown that mirror down, just can’t do it, some of them refuse point blank, so then I’ll try different ways. 

I’ll ask people to go out of their way and do something that they’ve always wanted to do but always felt fearful of doing it; they may want to go somewhere and they’ve never done it before and they’ve definitely not done it on their own, it could be to join a group, it could be go on a coach trip, it could be to watch a show, even go for something to eat for the first time or a coffee somewhere.  I can give them the tools and strategies to take with them, to keep them calm and relaxed.  Once they’ve stepped out of their comfort zone for the first time, it actually becomes easier; the more they develop their own self-love about themselves, the stronger they will become and they will not be phased by the fact that other people don’t love and approve of them; they will become a place of where they really enjoy being who they are. 

It can take so many hours to get there so you need to take your rest.  To learn the power of ‘NO’ is crazy, it’s powerful; no doesn’t have to be a nasty no, but no means no.  No gives you time back, time gives you time to allow who you are.  When you start to change this life, and I have noticed with women that are in relationships where the men and family have always controlled them, (families are quite powerful aren’t they), sometimes there is resistance and the other people will try to press your buttons, to see how far they can go with you and see how far and how soon they can make you feel bad about yourself again, but the stronger you become, the better you are just to bounce off of them, to bounce away from it.  I Am Good Enough Just The Way I Am is quite a journey of self-discovery; it takes courage, it takes conviction, strength of character and I always suggest that you go out and find yourself either a coach, ie myself, or a mentor; I think you need to talk and work with someone that you don’t know very well, to be quite honest, so they can hold you and support you.

For me, it’s taken many, many years and a lot of personal development but because I’ve been on this journey and because I’ve been there, I think that I’m so well equipped to help ladies to get there much quicker.  Everybody needs something different to get them there but my aim is to try and help as many women as I can, to live that life of success and how to love and approve of themselves, to live a true authentic life and not be afraid to talk from the heart, talk about themselves, to make a mistake, to be silly, be whatever they are because you are good enough, just the way you are.

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